is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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