i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
