In the future we'll all be gay
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
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I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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