After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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