Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
