we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
