So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
