He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize