it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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