There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
