Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
