After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
