Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
