Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think my moral compass just broke
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
