Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize