Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
