My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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