if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
