well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
