Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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