i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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