Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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