shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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