well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
