hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
