where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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