I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize