So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize