3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
