well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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