bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
