THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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