Whod you bang
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
