Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
