Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
