"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
