Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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