she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
