i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
there was a trapeze. enough said
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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