discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
