another moral hangover. fuck.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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