I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize