what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize