If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
