Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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