i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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