Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
