Plan B is the new Plan A
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Randomize
