hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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