Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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