so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
