I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
