We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize