Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.

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(813): dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though. http://tfl.nu/527j

Replies (13) Good night (1562) Bad night (489)
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(813): View more from Florida

I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters

(1-813): View more from Florida

What is a male extremity?

(813): View more from Florida

i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex

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(813): I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters (1-813): What is a male extremity? (813): i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex http://tfl.nu/l9w1

Replies (35) Good night (789) Bad night (4720)
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(540): View more from Virginia

it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.

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(540): it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/zwfn

Replies (25) Good night (7641) Bad night (1341)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.

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(856): this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes. http://tfl.nu/955p

Replies (5) Good night (965) Bad night (3283)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.

(816): View more from Missouri

...... wtf.

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(816): Where'd you guys get the alcohol from? (1-816): Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower. (816): ...... wtf. http://tfl.nu/k9gx

Replies (25) Good night (7304) Bad night (1144)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You know i think she's just using me for sex

(1-608): View more from Wisconsin

I hate you.

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(608): You know i think she's just using me for sex (1-608): I hate you. http://tfl.nu/pxkn

Replies (13) Good night (5504) Bad night (1354)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.

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(262): He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too. http://tfl.nu/5j5p

Replies (19) Good night (1561) Bad night (2930)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!

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(815): Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie! http://tfl.nu/p3px

Replies (27) Good night (1985) Bad night (3891)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.

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(203): she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever. http://tfl.nu/jt2o

Replies (8) Good night (6684) Bad night (788)
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(415): View more from California

Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point

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(415): Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point http://tfl.nu/8yzz

Replies (2) Good night (1255) Bad night (1148)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.

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(402): 2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America. http://tfl.nu/5vl1

Replies (4) Good night (1614) Bad night (626)
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(410): View more from Maryland

She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.

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(410): She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor. http://tfl.nu/beb7

Replies (13) Good night (1775) Bad night (1109)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.

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(202): He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message. http://tfl.nu/bw67

Replies (10) Good night (1669) Bad night (952)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.

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(973): Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle. http://tfl.nu/gy9y

Replies (16) Good night (552) Bad night (1237)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3

(906): View more from Michigan

Omg sara

(920): View more from Wisconsin

I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty

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(920): I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3 (906): Omg sara (920): I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty http://tfl.nu/fytc

Replies (8) Good night (1601) Bad night (513)

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