Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
