Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Don't you send me to vm

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  (248): Don't you send me to vm http://tfl.nu/tac7
  Replies (4) Good night (985) Bad night (1529)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.

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  (321): We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story. http://tfl.nu/mc4k
  Replies (29) Good night (1084) Bad night (3532)
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  (646): View more from New York

  so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"

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  (646): so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper" http://tfl.nu/y6hx
  Replies (9) Good night (723) Bad night (2388)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.

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  (913): This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed. http://tfl.nu/p27o
  Replies (3) Good night (692) Bad night (2594)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.

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  (712): I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled. http://tfl.nu/klod
  Replies (37) Good night (5266) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Want any specific kind of beer?

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Yeah. Alcohol flavor.

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Got it. Anything but Miller.

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  (701): Want any specific kind of beer? (623): Yeah. Alcohol flavor. (701): Got it. Anything but Miller. http://tfl.nu/wg65
  Replies (39) Good night (7153) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.

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  (716): God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them. http://tfl.nu/wqtw
  Replies (32) Good night (5316) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her

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  (954): had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her http://tfl.nu/teql
  Replies (15) Good night (1024) Bad night (5459)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.

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  (508): Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now. http://tfl.nu/sqxt
  Replies (4) Good night (2268) Bad night (1346)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge

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  (217): I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge http://tfl.nu/q5gb
  Replies (17) Good night (3546) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"

  (1-905): View more from Ontario

  He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.

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  (905): You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot" (1-905): He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka. http://tfl.nu/0kc2
  Replies (4) Good night (1132) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey

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  (774): This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey http://tfl.nu/q901
  Replies (10) Good night (1721) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future

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  (954): i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future http://tfl.nu/c3ju
  Replies (4) Good night (2089) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.

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  (310): If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time. http://tfl.nu/wm4g
  Replies (1) Good night (997) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.

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  (425): I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly. http://tfl.nu/0bgb
  Replies (2) Good night (880) Bad night (246)

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