Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.

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(480): View more from Arizona

she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.

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(216): View more from Ohio

This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(330): View more from Ohio

Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.

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(516): View more from New York

Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?

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(269): View more from Michigan

I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.

(248): View more from Michigan

That's my way of saying I miss you

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