I like to think it a success when the cops are called
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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