i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
