if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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