i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize