Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
