Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
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