Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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