it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
