she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
